Just found out wife filed

[RobD70]

I feel blah today, I expected the high from yesterday to wear off so I need to get that again. I think what helped me is thinking I no longer feel obligated to save the M anymore. Her filing showed no matter what I do it doesn't matter so the pressure if off now. I have no motivation to try anymore other than it's just in my nature to act a certain way and I want to be respectful and nice just for it's own sake, not to get her back. I don't see her ever wanting to come back nor do I think I could ever trust her again but I do believe she will she will one day regret this down the road. It will be too late to do anything about it but I kind of take solace in that. She is too short-sighted right now to see the big picture on top of not having her head on straight. I feel sorry for her.

I am now working on separating the finances. Both our checks go into a joint account and if she is going to get her own place then she needs to do that herself. I pay all the bills so I'm going to send them to her and tell her only to put in her share of my bills (house/credit) and she can pay her own. She makes twice what I do but because she pays for her kid's cars and part of her mom's house, I will end up with more free cash than her.

Thinking over what she sent yesterday, I feel she insulted my intelligence and though it's tempting to out her on it I'm just going to vent here.

She tries to downplay the filing because she doesn't want to hurt my feelings which is another way to help elevate her own guilt. I have no doubt that in 61 days she will try to finalize it. I also don't buy the "doing this for myself" bit when I know she is just giving in to pressure from the OM and her best friend. She has told me before that both of them keep telling her to file. Also note she filed last week when she brought the OM to her IC meeting. About getting the apartment in March which also happens when the OM's lease on his house is up.

It's been 24 hours so I am going to draft a response to her mail dealing with her son. It will only talk about him and I will not comment on her or me and very brief. I feel I need to because I do care about her son and don't want to appear insensitive. I can care less about making her feel better.