There's always time Ral. That's the one thing there is never a lack of. Even if the worst happens, there is still time if you want there to be.
It all depends on how long you can hang.
And that depends on how quickly you begin to get the hang of treading in these potentially dangerous waters.
Understand that your wife is wrestling with significant choices and decisions. If you valued her enough to marry her, than at some point you must have trusted her ability to make an informed and thought out decision.
Now I'm not saying that her reasoning is sound. Lord knows that many on this board have had spouses that just seemed to change overnight in to someone they didn't even know. It does happen that way sometimes.
But your wife is still relatively rational it seems to me. At least other than the not being sure if she wants to stay married or not part.
You owe it to her to respect what comes out of her mouth. And you cannot be perceived to be respecting how she feels if you are regularly trying to change her mind or convince her she's wrong.
And jeez, I know that sounds strange. If you don't try to convince her she's wrong, isn't that just like telling her she's right? All I can say is that in some strange way, the answer to that question is no.
What you are doing is giving her the space that she needs to figure things out. What you are doing is honoring her request by not pressuring her to reconsider. And you are preparing for a new future by taking the best care of yourself and the rest of your life that you can while she's struggling.
It's not being a doormat. You don't need to roll over and give in to any ridiculous thing she does. But you do need to allow her to do what she wants to do. Truth is you can't stop her anyway.
Your wife has said/done a couple things that sound like positives to me. She suggested that time would take care of these things. And to me that sounds like someone who is under pressure inside, and is hoping that the pressure will subside, allowing her to get her life back. The other thing is that, to this point at least, there does not seem to be involvement with another. In most of the worst cases on this board you seem to see immediate involvement with another person.
You have to find a way to navigate these waters without making things worse. Honor your wife. But remain true to who you are. A juggling act? For sure. But it can and has been done by others.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
