fb2, if I do decide this isnt working, I will not be a WAW. You see we are not having a R or a M I am walking away from. We havent for more than a year. Still if you want to call me that, no problem... it's not bad unless you are judging me by calling me a WAW... (no courts working today, remember?)
Funny people getting frustrated with us isnt it? Yuo cant help how you feel and you arent really asking for help with that, just journalling a difficult journey.
I like your plan with the kids, my BFF (single Mum) is doing the same as you, less PC, more outdoor things, better meal schedule, she feels good about it too, time to focus on them more, they are calmer as a result (so less need for shouting!). Hey you are only human, my BFF gets frazzled too, like when they wont get ready for bed and you are effectively a single Mum as he isnt really helping out in that dept. is he?
Theres that aspect too, he's not just failing to mend this R, he's also perhaps not making the right effort as a father (only 6-10 hours a week, right?). I believe you that he is this way (closed off, lacking in joy de vivre) in all areas of his life and it isnt just specific to you, or your R. Have you tried to tell him your observations of him and how you dont really like that he is that way..and have you asked him why? Have you said, I have noticed you lack enjoyment of life, friends, hobbies.. are you ok? Are you happy and fulfilled, outside of work? How about taking an interest and asking him if he's ok?
So.... what is your gesture for today? (maybe it could be the above suggestion to ask him about himself, if you cant think of anything else!) xxxxx
I also need to spend more quality time with D8 and also concentrate on my job a little more.
On the WAW thing, i have mentionned the same thing to you in the past. I do not think that anybody is judging you. We realize however that the place you are at today (in your mind) is very similar to where my stbxw was. No, i am not comparing you or your sitch...I am just comparing what you are or are not feeling.
Like I have said before, after all that we have been through my only concern is your happiness. No judging .....
As your offical FB Stars Officer... "Our next MC apt is on Thursday afternoon."...blimey !!! Interesting timing. Tommorow, is that major Pluto square Venus (kind of about pain in R's, or sexual 'pain') bringing things to a head.. and also, on the same day, Uranus in Pisces opposes Saturn again, as it did in November (its that old versus new thing) and we are now in the 'shadow' of the eclipse, which is Monday. So, um, you been reading your stars??? Maybe you should hunt that guy down and ask for another reading, as you said!?
I feel a bit lonely today. I guess I cant do much about it the way things are. But it really sucks to go thru another whole round of different limbo.
I have been calling H everyday. I never did that. I have been and we are having small talk about his work and the kids. Empty phonecalls with no meaning. He has stopped calling me. If I call at 16:00 we talk then, if I call at 12:00 we talk then, if I call at 18:00 we talk then. I am ok with that. I dont have any expectations I guess. But we sure seem to not moving along the way we should. Something feels... missing.
Tomorrow is the Cs. I am curious to see what they will say about our lack of actions. I am "trying" to make the calls. I dont know if it counts. And I was planning to ask him to sleep over on Friday. But I will decide that after the apt tomorrow.
Hi Maria, be interesting to know what kind of results your C's have had with these tactics. I get the impression that you see two people is that at the same time? Sorry about the ph calls, it must be so frustrating. Yet still you are keeping on keeping on. Does h ever do passionate and exciting? I know football plays a big part in his life surely he gets emotionional over that. Nothing to say really just reading along and wishing you find the pot of gold.
I dont know anymore naej. Bill was right about not having those rose tinted glasses anymore, but the only time I remember him showing passion was about our kids and the day of our wedding. Maybe a handful of occasions. I think.
Yes we do see 2 people. My therapist who is also psychiatrist and a marital counselor. I dont know how many separated couples they have had before. I get the impression people went there before our stage. Also, here, marital counseling is not very popular. When I looked around there were only very few.
I am not as frustrated anymore. I am calm (before the storm). I am lonely. Cant lie about that. I came to believe, no matter what, I am stuck with him... K
Hey K... I'm feeling lonely too! And today, I feel.. frustrated, so well done on feeling calm! So you call him once a day, but if you didnt, you wouldnt speak? Has he been doing his daily exercise of a surprise a day?
So... you have decided you are stuck with him? For now? For good?
As you didnt get to look at the stars, but are sick of limbo, maybe you will like our weeklies, from today....
With as uncertain and undirected as things may have felt lately, this is all about to change. The Full Moon eclipse in Leo is showing up with a plan for you and it is full steam ahead as Saturn opposes Uranus in your house of new beginnings. Anything getting in your way or limiting your vision will be removed. One thing you can count on is clarity. Limbo land is over. The road should look and feel to be wide open for you to implement your own personal Soul strategy...Fear not if initially it looks like something you do not want.
Pluto is working to eliminate all things that do not serve your highest possible path, the one that brings you ultimate meaning.
Sigh. Heres hoping hey, as usual, see what tommorow brings... xxx
(no courts working today, remember?)