CL...Sorry I didn't check in until today, and grrrrrr.
I think Matilda's right: you have made substantial and deliberate effort to improve the R, but there has to be some kind of work on her end as well. I hope she's not just throwing the D word around as an effort to ratchet up a tantrum. For sure, it's time to step back and see what comes of the sitch.
Either way, you're entirely in the right to expect some respect and common decent treatment. You have nothing to apologize for letting her know how the 'sleeping elsewhere' affects you, and shame on her for expecting an apology for natural consequences of *her* actions.
