I might have had it wrong also. I thought you wanted advice to help save your marriage. It seems you are saying to us, "It's my wife that is the problem and I need advice on how to change her into someone sweeter." Although, I thought I did try to answer that by saying that it has to start with what you do. Know what? She doesn't think a whole lot of you either. And you probably won't leave, she's right about that, but if she were to suddenly say that she was ready to get out, or you discovered an affair, I'd bet you scrambled to win her back.
Okay, I'm not saying to kiss her butt. I'm not saying to just agree with her and shut up (although I did see that advice, it isn't a long term solution to anything). I'm not saying give up who you are to please her. Make a decision on whether you want a better marriage. Then decide what you intend to do differently with her. It's not because we think you are a terrible husband, or it's your fault, but because you want a different result (don't you?). If what you have been doing the last several years hasn't worked, then try some other tactic. The book is designed for people like you, that are stuck in a rut. Get it. Read through it. See what you think. Start small...one little change in how you deal with her.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
There is a nice lady, Sandi2 who has helped a lot of folks, she left this for me on my post, see if it helps you like it did me
I have a thread elsewhere and spellfire sent me here to read this thread. I just want you to know that I really appreciate you posting this list of dos/donts. Some of these I have already tried (without knowing there was a list), and I have seen some improvement. I'll try the others on the list too.
Me 35 W 30 Together 11 years (long distance dating) M 9 1/2 years S 7 D 5 S 3 D newborn
