Stepping out and Stepping UP!

[cagzmom]

thanks t - your email was helpful too. and yes--- overanalyzing comes oh so natural! ugh.

snow in the south again- this time mixed with ice...eeeeeeeeek. even bailed on the run this am. boo hoo...

looking at the time lines of so many of us that are on here. knowing what i want for life and what i dont want..like i know i do not want anymore kids. my body and mind are done -- well that one sure helps with abstinence (though there is knowone around to push that button.) BUT even that i think is God.

I prayed the other day...that GOD would bring whoever he wants for me into my life when the time was right. AND GOD knows my hearts desire is xh. BUT God also knows when - and who.... AND I told Him -- my hands are off.

So for now I need to embrace this life called single motherhood. For me that is huge. I LOVE MARRIAGE and everything it stands for. I BELIEVE in MARRIAGE. BUT I am single..... and I need to see what that looks like for me.

Being divorced/single in a relationship world is different and so very tempting. The lonely side of me sees one "scene" and the side that is healing says.....stick it out over here because in the LONG run it will be better for YOU. AND FOR MY KIDS.

It is strange really - I am watching/listening to my s20. He is searching and going through much of the SAME things I am - I want for my son (and my daughter) to see that going the "high" road - sticking with God -- all of that brings: joy and peace.

So -- I embrace my singleness and say "whats next?"

(and that is how i feel..TODAY!)