ok guys, I have been reading all the posts and silentchrleader your husband sounds ALOT like mine. One exception we are already Divorced. My xh seems scared to get near me. Once he was in the house (my house) to pick up something and he went into the bathroom. Now mind you we have been married (had) for almost 20 years, but when I opened the bathroom door (because I couldnt hear what he was saying), he went off in a tantrum screaming "Close the Door!!!"lol. Like I havent seen it before. lol. Why do they do this? It's like he is scared to death of me touching him. Once during seperation we were talking and I asked for a hug, he gave me one, but it was like a teenage boy hugging for the first time. Crazy! My xh and I can have very good conversations at times, as long as I talk about what he wants to talk about, without even knowing it he reveals to me his experiences with other women, I would say ow, but according to him, he has many. Although he did have one in particular that I think he fell for (the first one he kissed according to him, after seperation.) She broke it off and he kinda jumps around now, in search, I guess. When I questioned his feelings for her, he did tell me she was like a favorite "toy". I try not to question him anymore, I just wind up hearing something I dont want to hear. He will even warn me of this sometimes. My xh has told me things that surprise me. He told me just the other day that no one compared to me sexually. Boy, I really wanted to hear that, being compared to other women. (how could I think him enough!) I asked my xh once if he could describe it, what would be the perfect relationship right now for us according to him. He said he would like to talk to me once a week or every 2 weeks. I asked him why, he said because of son. I said son has his own cell phone. He said, well he wanted to check in on me about finances, that son didnt know those things. (whatever). Since then we have talked almost every day. He tells me he only wants to speak with me once a day, and goes OFF THE WALL, if I call him more than that. BUT one day I spoke with him about a payment he was suppose to take care of and he tried to call me back, I was upset, so I didnt answer the phon, he called 3 times! Now I have voice mail, so I was hoping he would leave a message, I drove to his work and asked him to come outside, he refused and I said ok I am coming in. I wanted to know why he was calling and didnt leave me a message. He came out and said, oh, I just wanted to let you know I took care of the payment. I asked why couldnt he leave a voice mail, and he said he didnt DO voice mails. I said well you better learn! (although he hasnt ever left me a voice mail). It's like he wants no evidence of contact from him. Paranoia!!!! Well sorry I wrote a book, but I find it interseting how they all do and say similiar things. I try to be nice, but are we suppose to be nice all the time? I have only been sep 5 months, divorced almost 2. I am still ANGRY!!! Help! With GOD'S grace I will make it.
