I totally hear you on this one: "I can't lie I just wish he would call or e-mail and say "I am so sorry I was such a jerk. I have a major problem and I need help for it. I do love you and never stopped loving you. I am coming back to get myself better then once that happens maybe we could work on our marriage." Ok I know I'm dreaming but I can do that can't I?"
It's what I want too (for you and for me). I guess God has bigger plans for us. I wish I knew what they were. I would be absolutely more than happy to follow any and all orders He gave me. To the letter, if I just knew what they were.
Your H is going to hit rock bottom sooner or later (and it sounds like sooner, honestly). Mine hit bottom almost 4 years ago. I threatened to walk out. He quit. I was tired and exhausted and had the 1st A. I hate saying that. They either have to lose everything or see they are going to lose everything before they come to their senses, and even then, it doesn't always happen.
Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, too.
Mel
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
