Thanks for checking in. I had a great weekend with the kids skiing. My S5 snowboarded for the first time and I was very proud.
Back at home things aren't so good. W and I had a therapy session to discuss the nesting and I fell apart. I am having a hard time standing up to her. She wants to nest for 2 years for the kids and I wanted to start my own life. She made such a good argument that my therapist even sided with her. Today turned out to be the hardest day of the whole 14 month ordeal. I have the kids tonight but I am having trouble holding it together. I am thinking bad thoughts. My L is telling me to stop talking to my W, but my W always comes first with me. So I am paying my L huge dollars and I am not listening to her advice. I have even agreed to meet with another mediator that is more business-like that my W thinks will be better for us. I tried to explain that we are coming from different places. She has moved on and I am still in love, but I just sounded like a moron. I want to die, but my kids dig me and I know that one day I will get better.
I feel like a failure and I am embarrassed to tell you all of this but that is what is happening.
How are you?
Me 41 W 39 d7, s4 M 13 Bomb ILYBNILWY November 28th, 2007
