Climbing out of the swamp

[25yearsmlc]

No frankd,

I am not suggesting you kick her to the curb at all. I am not talking about your wife. You know that I'm not talking about her at all. I am saying I read your thread back 14 months (and there were plenty more, but I had read enough to make sure I knew your history). To my surprise, I found that you are literally getting the same advice from people and you are saying the same things now that you did then. At times, you are repeating yourself almost word for word. That is a long time to be cycling thru the same loops. Like going on the freeway and never taking an exit.

I'm saying there has been almost no movement in your life, and what movement that has happened, was not initiated by you. You sometimes react, but you do not act. You have been told to GAL > 100 times, but you have not. This is NOT NEW.


Seriously, Frankd, re-read your thread...go back a year, and see where you were and where you are now. Look at what AmyC said to you in January of 2008 (and again in July, and again last week). Read what Jack 3 has said, and TNP said in August, and how you replied then.
Call it "observations" or whatever you want; it's still the same behavior in some form; obsessing, mind reading, snooping or microscopically analyzing or negatively thinking, etc, and you can still say you won't do it anymore!...and it'll all have been said before. That's what I'm saying. You're a smart guy.

But your machinations & ruminations have stalled you into permanent limbo land. By choice. Make no mistake Frankd, this is your choice and has been for a long time. That is what I don't get. You ignored the question earlier but it's really the question. Why do you do this? What do you get out of this?
Surely you don't want to wake up in 10 years talking about whether your w is bringing OM#56 to your grand-kid's baptism...and how you should feel or approach that. Right?
[color:#CC0000][b] That's what I'm saying. Not about your wife or your business or your childhood...but why you choose to engage in the same thought process, and behavioral pattern, or revert to it every time, and yet appear to expect something different? I can't tell if it's pretense, tactical, attention seeking, a form of masochism, or what? I'm baffled. Don't you want to be happy Frankd, even if it means making brave choices all on your own?

A lot of people have tried to help you; including me. But I now believe I'm part of the problem by engaging this way. I am enabling you to stay stuck. No offense Frank, but You aren't "moving" and my posts are exercises in futility. I don't want to be part of the problem Frankd.
( j )