Be patient with yourself. You are in mourning, and it is completely normal. Give yourself the time to heal.

Are you in counseling? If not, go. Having someone else devoted to helping you process this is invaluable.

It sounds like you're doing some really fun things. Keep looking for the beauty and good in life, and you will find it. Meanwhile, just take care of yourself.

SD

Me: 40
H: 43
H had EA from 2/06-9/06
Bomb 5/06
Piecing since 9/2006
3/2008: Boundary setting
7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb.
8/2010: Marriage finally on track!