Episode IV: A New Hope (?)

[verycrazy]

good luck, I have been lurking and reading your thread. Wow!! it's a doozy!!

[AmyC]

well, 48 hours to go and counting down. For some reason I'm getting the knott in my stomach again as it draws closer. I'm fairly certain it's to the possiblity she may try and ask that the "no communication" be lifted and I'm not certain if I can or should believe her. It's unfortunate to say, but life has been so much better this way these past few weeks.

Haven't heard any grumblings from the grape vine about anything she's been up to in the last 3 weeks either. Not sure if that's good or bad?

Still say this is going to go either way. Right now I'd say it's a 75% reality that she'll show up with OM and probably lose it in front of the judge, heck, she showed the PD no mercy the night she barged in the house, not too good when every police report ends the same way, "the compaintant was unruly and not in control, especially with a officer of the peace". Eh well, her hole she dug is big enough, so I dont' see any reason why she won't keep digging. But she will no longer take me and the kids with her.

You should probably expect her to look and act her very best.

Is anyone going with you?

[25yearsmlc]

yeah Amyc's got a good point. Be ready for her to be super mom, so you need to be the gentleman you are, show your best side all through buddy. Be the great dad that you are and be "open" to what the judge says. Listen carefully to what is said. You do have your L with you, right? Anyone else? Okay, you have US sending positives your way...

((( j )))

[dday101798]

Thanks everybody!

Yeah, I'm expecting her to "try" to be on her best behavior. That said, I highly believe she'll be showing up with an attorney provided by FIL tomorrow. A little birdie finally spoke up and apparently everyone has been acting shiesty toward me because they all think I intentionally had the Order of Protection's wording come out shadey on the issue of her visitaion to bar her from seeing the boys. Well, everyone was there the night of the 16th when I had her brother call her to arrange the visitation, so whatever, the court transcript speaks volumes for it'self.

AND, that little biride is on the roll to help me get out of that house, so I'm keeping spirits up that I will soon be free to navigate on my own without anyone else's false opinions and live for myself and my boys.

I am going in armed with the knowledge that the boys are doing much better off emotionally and that their lives are more structured versus bouncing from house to house. At least if all else should fail, this WILL establish a set visitaion schedule as far as they are concerned until a parenting agreement is made out.

Funny, the same one's that want to think the exact opposite of what was said and done in court are the same ones that helped her take the boys regularly without MY permission. And yet they see nothing wrong with that? Eff em all, all I need them for is to confirm their statements given to the PD the night of the inccodent.

As far as lawyers go, I have the Advocate Attorney's Office representing me, still don't have the funding to hire one on my own yet, but as soon as I get the heck out of that house, you can make it a sure bet that once I'm settled in, that will be taken of. I am going tomorrow with the only one person I can trust who also was there the night of the assault and the night of the 16th, so if I need back up right away, I have at least one wittness.

If I understand correctly though, tomorrow is just to see what her intent is on fighting the allegations to the O.O.P. Otherwise, yes the visitation issue will no doubt be cleared up. I will request the judge leave the 'no contact' stipulation, I've given this one enough opportunity to decide to talk rationally, of which when she does is only to gain something to her advantage. Otherwise on visitation, I would think the letters from the schools, phone record, and theft of my personal identity will make this a slam dunk for rights to standard visitation only.

Thanks for the positives, that helps

[dday101798]

Heh,

Ironically there was a article in the Tribune today about volunteer groups moniotring domestic violence cases to ensure fair practice and accuracy of case records being held. And, also that now by this monitoring, all cases in this county that award the O.O.P. grant the 'no contact' clasue automatically as a "cool down period" to the threat of any future violence.

AND, just found a listing on house in my area and hopefully in the right school district that is within my means to move ASAP, starting to look like a good final 24 hours of this episode.

[25yearsmlc]

DD,

I'm biased so the advice I'm about to give, is fraught with that reality, okay? As a L, I'm very nervous that you are going in without one and yet you expect your w to walk in with one. You are not fully armed my friend. I know, it may be overkill in this sitch cuz we THINK we're only discussing her no contact order and I hope to God you are right and that nothing else gets effected...

But trying to "save money" with a L in this type of sitch, is like trying to save money on chemotherapy. Sometimes you borrow money for something like THIS...

a rainy day? Yes, it is raining...

I'm crossing my fingers for you buddy!
( j )

[dday101798]

Thanks 25yr.

Unfortunately, as stated, money has been a tight issue and as you would know, most L's won't give you the time of day without charging you a 1/2 hour for it. So, I just have to get by for now.

Didn't get a letter from the school, just a confirmation e-mail that they are seeking advisement of the administration. Printed out that, all my bank statements to show payment for the house, all the phoney account info she created and i'll put together what i can.

The judge was really nice when I presented my case. I don't know if he had sympathy for me being the only male there filing a O.O.P. or what, but he gave some of the females issues when they were up there pleading their cases. Also the Advocates were great in getting me to 'unclam' as when I first spoke with them they didn't think the judge would do anything becasue I wouldn't really say much to them and was sort of 'protecting' her. So they straightened me out and fired me up before going to the court room and will be there to do so again.

I still have a overall good vibe about the whole thing, weither she brings a lawyer or not. Who ever she brings has work to do as they are representing a person who assaulted and threatened to kill their husband and father of her children directly in front of them.

And lastely should all else fail and something go awry, I have had the opportunity to show the love for my kids I have not been able to in some time, and at least now they know it's there, it's not just a saying when things get rough, it's real and they know they can count on me to take care of them, and they know they have a place they can come to to get through this difficult enough time for them, without the distractions of constant parties on school nights and being ignored for the glammer effect of a "new love".

No, they know with me, family life can and will go on, minus one.

[AmyC]

And lastely should all else fail and something go awry, I have had the opportunity to show the love for my kids I have not been able to in some time, and at least now they know it's there, it's not just a saying when things get rough, it's real and they know they can count on me to take care of them, and they know they have a place they can come to to get through this difficult enough time for them, without the distractions of constant parties on school nights and being ignored for the glammer effect of a "new love".

No, they know with me, family life can and will go on, minus one.

Do you know how quickly they will forget all that if you don't go in there and fight your ass off for them tomorrow!?

[25yearsmlc]

well??? how'd it go???

((( j )))

[AmyC]

Where are you, DDay???