Trying to fill the empty space

[Starshyne]

Hello everyone,

I hope someone here remembers me. This is Sara who had the idiot husband that wore her t-shirts (if you don't remember this...don't ask!). LOL

I haven't been here in awhile because it was just too painful for me to read about what everyone was going through. I needed a break from it. But here I am again.

I have now been divorced for 7 months, which is hard for me to believe. Some days I still expect my exH to walk through the door and forget that I am not married to him anymore.

I guess you could say that I am not taking it very well. I go through cycles where I am very content with my life and then something will set me off and for days I will be crying because I just miss my xh so badly. I thought things would get easier with time, but they honestly haven't. Right now I am just really sad over the break-up of the relationship. The fact that we are no longer a couple just really makes me sad.

I have been working very hard at GAL. I just got a very small role in the community theatre production of "To Kill a Mockingbird" I am going to be the court reporter! I am really excited about this. I haven't done any theatre since before the bomb (and still question if my theatre activities had anything to do with my xh finding OW). I know that I am going to have fun. I am also keeping up with my guitar lessons and I am enjoying them. Since August I have been going out to eat with a very nice guy on Saturday nights. It is nothing serious and barely even romantic, but it is nice to hang out with someone of the opposite sex. I have re-conncted with my best friend from high school, who I have been estranged with for 5 years. And I am singing actively with my church worship band. So I am trying to get out there but while I am doing all of this stuff there is part of me that just feels empty. It isn't a big part of me, but it is always there. That awful emptiness that used to be filled with love from my husband. The pain of coming back to an empty house and sleeping alone.

But here I am....trying to heal.

Sara