I remember a person in my church that was married for like 9 years, divorced for 2, then remarried for like 17 years.
I have reached a place in my life where I have realized that the MINIMUM for me is probably divorce. I have to wait a long time for W to crash, and then, MAYBE she'll re-discover herself.
- OR -
She remarries, and we never talk again.
But getting to that acceptance point is crucial and key, and I'm almost there. My W is kind of the same way: reactionary like your H. She routinely threatens divorce, then abruptly said she wanted a dissolution (my guess is the very public affair probably gave her L pause for thought) :).
I gave her two weeks, and then asked her where the dissolution paperwork was, and she said, "it's taking time".
She wouldn't respond to my requests, then I threatened divorce, and she very quickly responded.
Take it easy, memorize that quote, and repeat it to yourself every day.
