Craig LRT being patient

[fisherman]

Craig,

I'm sorry. I know there isn't a whole lot I can say at the moment to make these feelings subside.

There is a plan and it is better. I admire your faith. All we can do is walk the path. Your faith and beliefs will get you through this. Who knows maybe it had to come to this for her to wake up.

I know exactly how you feel when you say it's so unnecessary. That is whats most difficult to understand I think. Never lose that faith of yours, all things are possible. You will come through this much stronger.

You are in my prayers.

[sandi2]

Dear Craig, I am so sorry for your pain. These things are hard to understand. I'm not saying that you do this, but I think I am guilty of saying that when I have put something in God's hands, then He is going to do the thing I want done. When it doesn't work out the way I wanted it to, I am not only disappointed but feel like God let me down a little bit. Most people won't admit that, but I think that is how most of us truly feel. However, you are right in that God will have something down the road. This was not His will, but He would not force your W to do what she didn't want to do. So, in her free will, she chose to do the wrong thing. Anyway, God will keep you and make a way. Being a Christian does not protect us from all pain and suffering, does it? However, this lifetime is the only one that we will experience that....thank God. I don't think I can tell you anything you don't already know, and I believe you will keep leaning on Jesus. This is a bad day, but better days will come for you b/c you are a child of the King. Just saying that makes one feel better! I am royalty b/c I am a child of the King!

I was thinking about how God knows your pain and all that you are enduring right now and it made me think of something in my own life. It is like child birth. It is something that you have to go through, but He is there with your while you are suffering the pain. That is an experience that I learned having one of my babies. When I was a kid, I use to hear the old expression that giving birth was the next thing to dying. Well, of course that scared me to death! Anyway, with my second child, I was in extreme labor and I called out my H's name and I looked over at him and he had laid his head down on the bed by my shoulder and I don't guess he heard me even call his name (maybe I was whispering...I don't know) but I realized nobody could help me, so then I called out to the Lord and said, "Jesus, Jesus, please help me!" I honestly did not know if I could stand the pain any longer. Now, I have only shared this story with about 5 people, so I hope you will realize that telling this personal experience is special to me and I hope it will be to you. When I cried out to Jesus, it was as if there was a "presence" or something that was hovered right above me. I know, it sounds crazy and that is one reason I don't tell people. But, it calmed me down and I heard nothing audible, but the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart as clearly as anyting I ever heard. He said, "Sandi, you are going to have to go through giving birth to this baby. There is no turning back and nobody can help you. This is a passage way that only you can go through. But, I am here with you all the way." Then I knew at that moment in time that when I die it will be the same way. I will have to go through that passage, but He will be with me all the way. I immediately felt peace and calmed down. I was not afraid any longer.

So, I did go through it and had that big baby boy! That was a spiritual experience, if you want to call it that, but it has always been very special to me and that is why I wanted to share it with you. I hope you will draw strength somehow from it to know that He is with you through this pain that you have to endure. You are not alone.

I wanted to say something to help, but I know there is really nothing I can do, Craig, except pray--and you have that.

Please take care of yourself and don't give up the faith. You have been so good to inspire me and to help others. I think God has used you here.

Sandi2

[craig54]

Sandi, Trapt,

thank you. I was watching the movie, You've Got Mail,and the part where she had come to terms with having to close her book store and as she looked back before she walked out the door for the last time, she was wondering what was next for her life. I could not help but think about my situation, I know i will be fine, it is just so sad. She has never waivered since she dropped the bomb.Thank you both for your prayers and support.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Sorry for the hijack, but Jack did your wife ever file for divorce, and as Bill wrote what were things like before your wife said she might be interested in working on the relationship. Just curious.

Did my wife ever file?
No, I don't think so.
I never got paperwork, but let me be clear here, at the time that I would have gotten paperwork, I would have signed off on it poured a beer and made a phone call.

She kept attempting to talk to me or send me forwarded emails, about nothing.

Here is what happened, she called one day and in the tiniest voice I have ever heard, she asked me not to hang up on her. Now up until this time she had been full of lies about giving up the OM and working on us, and I ALWAYS fell for it.

Now however, I was looking forward to life without her. She hadn't been a part of my life for almost 3 months now, and really I was glad for it.

She begged for one chance, and I gave her several ultimatiums. Concerning that chance. A chance by the way I wanted her to fail at. I said if you are on my porch Friday night when I get home, I'll know your serious, otherwise bye. But if you f me over again, the way I have been treating you will be like a warm summer day compared to how I will treat you in the future.

We started piecing that Friday.
And Piecing is harder than waiting.
We are both better for it, our marriage is stronger and we don't take each other for granted.

[craig54]

Jack, she has never waivered , from day one she said she was done and has not attempted to talk to me about our relationship, not one time. So it is obvious to me that she is done, paper work has been signed and we wait for the court.You have been an inspiration.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Sometimes they have to get divorced Craig...

I don't know what that means other than what it says...

You're a strong man Craig, never forget that.

Sometimes even when you are positive you are finished, you aren't.

[craig54]

I will say after I signed the paperwork on Saturday, there was an inperceptible internal change in my attitude towards my wife.I could feel it. I did not care if I saw her, at all. The very detachment that has alluded me for months, came in a matter of minutes. Hmmmmm!!!

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Craig you have DBed and done everything the book and others have said right?

There is the part of DB that says...change what isn't working.

You have papers on your desk...

What do you have to lose at the moment to try and talk to her about it?

What I did worked for my marriage. I don't recommend it.

[lynn08]

I read through your sitch Craig and I just want to say that I am sorry to hear about the D papers. I was slapped in the face with papers last week too, after I thought things with my H had gotten better. You really don't know how to explain the feeling. I don't think I could breathe for about 15 minutes after I realized what just happened. I, like you, got really angry after it sank in and I wanted to tear him a new one more then ever....

It sounds like its been a long road for you and it sounds like you have done everything right. Ill be praying for you as well

Jenn

[craig54]

Jack,

I see your point, I don't have anything too lose.So I will give it a whirl.