Climbing out of the swamp

[25yearsmlc]

FrankD,

AmyC, Ian, Bworl, FIB, BND and many others have posted with you for a long time. I re-read some of your old posts, even going back over a year. It took me awhile b/c you have a lot of stuff on your threads and a lot of threads.

What struck me so much was how similar the words are: whether TO you, or FROM you, the same advice and same obsessing gets cycled through. Some of it is almost exactly verbatim what has been said before. Almost like cut and paste. I'm stunned really. I went back to January of last year, that's over a YEAR. What patience of these posters.

And how stuck you choose to be . As TNP told you (last August!), your w may have shot an arrow into your heart, but you choose to pick up the arrow and stab yourself again and again. Your childhood sucked and so did hers. FYI so did mine. Ever wonder what your kids are going to say about theirs? How available you were to them? I have read you say that you are going to start being there for your d's...too many times to count. Like I said, I STOPPED reading when I got to your posts that were over a year old. Just couldn't believe it.
You might want to do that yourself b/c it is eye opening.

As Amyc told you a YEAR ago, what can anyone say to get you Unstuck? You have to do it. Only you can, and no one else. Guess what? That's how it is and has been for a really long time. All of us had to get out of our 'comfort' zones to say the least. All of us had to be brave and take risks. And all of us had to stop doing the same thing over and over and expecting the result to be different.


I don't know what the word is for this kind of prolonged staying miserable while saying you don't want to be. But it's really unhealthy. I feel like I'm enabling it at times. Not sure how to help you. But more and more, when I look at those old posts and see the same sh== diff day, for soooo long, I get the feeling that this really is all about what YOU are willing to do and whether somehow wallowing here feeds something in you. I'm not a shrink. But Nothing anyone here says will make a difference. You've heard it all before. Literally. You've said it all before. Literally. But here you are, still. I don't want to be part of the problem. But I feel useless posting here and fear being an enabler. But if you really think you aren't stuck, I urge you read your old posts. Read what TNP and AmyC and others wrote to you months and months ago, and over a year ago. As I said, I stopped in January of '08 so who knows how far back it goes. But I think it'll shock you. Maybe that's the only thing that will.

( sigh )

( j )