It's been a long road for you. Those posts are filled with anguish. It hurts to read some of it. I know you have moments of strength and joy in them as well.
You keep focusing on you. You do it beautifully and I think you will find a happy place in this life.
I'm going to send all kinds of energy (a shitstorm of energy) to your husband. I hope he sees the light, for once and for all. I hope he reads, grows, and learns. I hope he stops acting out in anger when he feels he isn't getting what he wants from you. I hope he realizes that his happiness is up to him. I hope he finally sees his gifts in life, finds gratitude for them, and learns how to revere them without falter. Tisk on me, but I do want him to change (the forbidden wish) so that you can truly feel peace in your love for him.
