Just getting caught up on your sitch. Denial is not just a river in Egypt! I knew about xBF's EA and had proof (emails) that he was lying to me about it. He only just admitted to all the lies during the convo we had the night I threw him out of the house. "I guess I was just in denial." You think?
I second the other advice you've received regarding snooping. Do only enough so you're sure, the rest will only hurt you. I learned this the hard way.
I did not take the other advice and have revealed xBF's A to his parents and best friend, as well as anyone who specifically asks me if that is what is going on. I don't know if that will help or hurt the situation in the end, but honestly I don't care anymore. His family is so nonconfrontational that I knew they would never discuss it with him. I told his parents so they knew why I didn't show up for Christmas. I told his best friend because we are their daughter's godparents and named as guardians in their wills and I felt they deserved to know the truth about what's going on.
I think you need to make the decision for yourself, but know there is no pat right or wrong answer.
You sound like you have a great plan and are doing everything you can do at this point.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
