Don't look back

[cz946]

Just an update.
XW called just as she said yesterday. I missed the first call, but called her right back. She wanted to discuss the plan for d and her valentines party and etc for school. We had a nice conversation. She seemed very bubbly, and I was upbeat and in good spirits. My cell phone died near the end of the call. So I called her back when I got home.

Just wanted to make sure she didn't think I hung up on her. I asked her opinion about a short sale. My house in payment is now more than 60% of my monthly income, my house is now worth 25% less than what I owe on it. I love my house, but need to make a decision. Either live for the house or let it go and live a little. The problem is she is still on the mortgage, so a short sale or foreclosure will effect her. I am currently up to date on all my bills, but feel like one disaster away from danger.

She started to get a little upset but I assured her that I wouldn't do anything with out her consent and am only exploring my options. I also stated that I just wanted to discuss it with her because I respect her opinion. She then went on to say that she is running her self into major debt, already had to consolidate a bunch of credit cards at a horrible rate, etc... While she was telling me this, I was thinking the whole time to myself, "I knew this was just a matter of time." But i just supported and listened to her, DBing. XW is a major shopper!! I worked my butt off to give her what ever she wanted.

She sounded as she was getting a little depressed, so I ask "are you alright? You sound a little sad." She said, It the whole situation, it makes me sad. Everything we worked for and now we are starting over. I am thinking to myself "HELLO" your the one who wanted to go through with the D. But I am in a better place, so again I just stated. We will get through this, and we will make the best decisions for the both of us. I just respect your opinions and wanted to discuss all our options. She ask if I had called the mortgage company and ask them if they can work with us. I said I emailed them and they responded that there wasn't anything they can do. She asked, if I wanted her to call. I said no I will call tomorrow. 180 for me. In the past, I always let her handle this. I ended the call, because I had to go bowling, ugh I hate bowling!

So I am at bowling, I get a txt from XW. Asking if I can give d a bath tomorrow night, cause her shoulder hurt. I responded "I can." She said thank you.


Later that I night I wake up after a bad dream. I had a dream that d and XW are being held hostage in India and I am searching for them. Don't know what that's all about!! So even though it goes against DBing,
Me: "I had a bad dream, are you and d ok.
To my surprise she responded right away.
XW "we are, i don't sleep anymore cause my shoulder hurts."
Me: Good. Thanks for responding, I'm not going to be able to fall back asleep now. The heating pad isn't working?
XW: I don't have a pad just the thing you microwave. It gets cold fast, and I am on call. (for work)
Me: Yeah I remembered you were on call. That's why I figured it would be ok to txt you. I sure wish there was something I could do for your shoulder. Is it constant pain?
XW: yes pretty much. The last week it has gotten real bad, Pushing to hard at the gym. I knew it.
about 1:00AM - Me: I can't imagine the pain you are in. You have been through a lot the last 2 years, you are a strong women though. You always push yourself hard, I can't see you letting up in the gym either.

at 6:03 XW: Sorry i fell asleep. the heat stopped helping. They ache like I broke them.
Me: Oh no problem shell. I finally fell asleep too. I wonder if you damaged the tendon. I will be here for you if you need anything, even if its just to talk or txt to get you through the night.:)
XW: Thank you. I think and hope because both shoulders hurt off and on its muscles, but I am resting them only doing legs.
Me: Thats a good plan.


2 hours later, while in a meeting at work. She calls. I answer, can I call you right back I presenting. She says, well my day isn't getting any better, I just ran out of gas and had to walk to the gas station and buy a gas can and walk back to my care. I said give me a minute, I will call you right back.

I call her back about 3 minutes later, and Ask if she needs me to come get her. She said no, she is all set, just wanted to tell me about her bad day. I said boy your sure are having some bad luck. I hope your day gets better, She says I can't believe not one person stopped to ask if I needed help. I told her she should have called me, I would have left work, and next time please call me, I will come get her. I wished her a better day and told her to call me if she needed anything, She said thank you. So I ended the call. I had to get back to the meeting.

Is it a baby step that she called me?? Am I being to nice?

I am trying to reconnect with XW emotionally. I feel that things have gotten a little better, and she is starting to open up, and seem more bubbly around me. Maybe she since that I am moving on. Which in a way I am, I have taken steps in the past 2 weeks to show her this. 1. the roommate, and 2. exploring my financial options with the house.

May what I would do for a long hug and a kiss!!!!!!!!!!!! But I can't let her know!

Am I making progress? Like I read on someones post earlier, you have to try to date your XS with out them knowing.