I know you arent going to believe this XXXX?
I still can not believe it?

1. I told him his behavior is unacceptable and it has got to go. In so many words.
I stood up for my self.
He agreed.


2.MY H asked me last nite .
"How do I get rid of all this anger Ali? I am tired of feeling this way."

Scarier part for me is he was serious.
I explained the Byron Katie Method~ ( I did not say her name or that I was doing this )
He said he doesnt see how that will help, it cant just be b/c of believing his negative thoughts?But he would try.

Thank God I was sitting on the floor.

I even did a turn around for him using the example of when I wanted to let him go cause the convo was going south.
And how he took it personal and believed his negative thoughts about me.

3.This morning he called and the chip on his shoulder ?
Maybe he is giving it a break ?
Even if just for one conversation .
That was a relief , quite frankly.
A blessing.
He was polite and cheerful.
He even told me this is who I am right now, I need to get thru this.
Let me work thru it.
Please dont try to talk me out of it ?
Let me do it.


4. He also said.
If I am wrong? Please tell me. Do not take it.
Say something ok. Dont take it Ali.


I should maybe call the press? I think I even saw Jesus appear on the XXXX wallpaper in my kids room?
While we were talking??????
JK~ you do know how Hispanics see this and call the press? NO?
Sorry ,,,I just had to add that.
I am very spiritual and religious even .
Maybe there was an angel whispering in his ear?
I dunno?
Something changed?
I am still in shock!~!~


I think I have mentioned this before?
My H rarely if ever will say he is sorry , or I am going to make it up to you.
So for him to say these things is shocking.
Really.


I know now more than ever that I need to keep doing this.
What he did yesterday?
The "old " me , for lack of a better term?
Would have just melted and cried and felt sorry for herself all nite.
WHY me?????????
How dare he, etc etc etc ...
My feelings dont own me anymore.
And that is just awesome.

I have come down with a nasty cold.
I feel a little under the weather.
But I am fine.

I love that I am fine and I can after all control my emotions and not be a slave to them.
I am also excited XXXX , I am no longer waiting to live or living his emotions. I can be happy.
I dont need to wait for him.
I cant say it enough.