You don't get to own what the OM's wife thinks or feels about this -- only she does.
YOU can only own what YOU feel about it.
You should neither argue with your wife (or with OM's W) about what SHE thinks it is or isn't -- you should instead focus on communicating YOUR boundaries to YOUR wife, and owning your end of this thing.
Getting into a debate about other people's morals is a fruitless exercise.
