Makes total sense. You working on yourself is going to force the relationship to change. If he is unwilling to bend with that change, it ends. I know that's not what your husband wants.
None of us will ever find someone to follow our rules alone. The person who would go along with everything is called a blow-up doll. Unable to give anything as a completely empty vessel. I know that's not what your husband wants.
Before DQ steps in to slap my hand: I know you can't force him to read. He doesn't HAVE to. It is his choice. (My stream of conscious is sometimes written without thinking about how I'm wording things.) But, I think that if he wants to continue to be your partner, learning more about himself would be of great help to him in participating in the improvement of your relationship.
Not sure what the best method is to get him to listen. Scheduling a talk with my husband was immensely helpful in getting him to really listen and take it seriously. (He was thinking, "Holy crap. This must be really important." He was all ears. And apparently a lot of heart and brain, too.)
