Advice Please...Con't #2

[craig54]

Ral,

I know you are frustrated but you need to stop pushing her, Trapt is right, she does want to listen to anything you have to say concerning your relationship. Just let her be.Let her iniate , if she does'nt let it go.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Do you know how tough it is to have to sleep next to her. I haven't slept all night since ???

No...what's that like?

I hope you're venting.

We are all together in this, alone.

Ral, her finding those books...not good as you found out. Craig and trapt are right, she sees this as pressure.
You know what else is pressure?

there better be no one else before the ink dries...

Or what exactly? You're going to slash her tires? Or do something stupid and end up in jail...empty threat with alot of pressure. Stupid.

[Bworl]

You don't get the seriousness of the stuff we post you.

You continue pushing, sometimes openly, sometimes from behind the scenes. It's almost as though leaving these books out where she could find them is some kind of passive aggressive action on your part so that she can KNOW you are working hard to save your marriage.

And her response remains the same. Not interested.

And Ral? Keep on her and it will get worse each time. Eventually she will let you know that she hates your guts, never wants to speak to you again, and that she wants you out of the house.

I'm not saying that's what she wants. I'm telling you that if you continue pressuring, directly OR indirectly, her responses to you will escalate in nastiness.


If there is really no OM, that's a good thing. But only if you can stop stepping on your di#k long enough to give her some space and make her believe that you are finally LISTENING to her. She wants to be left alone. She wants space. When are you going to STOP forcing YOUR way into this matter?


This thing is FAR from over. Check in with Jack and ask him what things were looking like just before his wife expressed an interest in working things out.


But you have to STOP tearing down what remains of the positive feelings she might have inside about you and the family.


Damn...


Blessings,

Bill

[StayHopeful]

Sorry Bill, I was trying to improve myself. I used to leave the Divorce Remedy sitting beside my chair, until I found out that you shouldn't let them see it. So I stored it inside a compartment in the chair. Then I began reading the Walk Away Spouse. Also stored inside the chair. I pulled it out to read and W made some comments when she saw it. I should have hidden them.

[graceallday]

heres the thing it is normal to think....I think my spouse is different...they cant do this...they are confused...mlc....and while you know you are getting good advice you still have to try it your way.......i know i did it too.....I could not get my brain around that he would really leave his family....the thing is it may not even be you she is running from in reality...but in her reality it is...the part someone posted about you being the last person they want to tell them about things or point things out or whatever is so true......and its so hard to seperate that in your mind.....anyway if u can really detach...this might go faster for u...but whether the road leads home or a new direction thats the only way ...with out getting demolished.....

[craig54]

Sorry for the hijack, but Jack did your wife ever file for divorce, and as Bill wrote what were things like before your wife said she might be interested in working on the relationship. Just curious.

[StayHopeful]

I would like to hear that as well Jack.

[fisherman]

Ral,

Check Craig's thread. It's on there. How are you doing?

[StayHopeful]

I feel like the guy who struck out with bases loaded and 2 outs. I missed the field goal in the last 1 second.

I apologize, I know I let you all down. All I can do is get up, dust myself off and get back on...

So far the W is fine, we had dinner, nothing spoken so far. Small talk.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

[censored] Ral...

Please yourself, not us. Our advice is just so you don't feel like crap day in and day out, you know so you don't feel like you touched a mine.