I think the advice you're being given is sound. You aren't being told to do nothing, though it may feel like that. You are being adviced to focus only on what you can control- yourself. Doing the same thing isn't going to make things better, and since the only thing you can change is yourself...well, you get the idea.
Agreeing with her doesn't mean that you are giving up. It just means that right now you need to get your relationship in a place where you are both doing well enough that you can maybe talk and actually hear each other. The talks can come later, when you are more connected. That's my understanding anyway. Others can maybe shed more light on that.
