Saffie, I have been beating myself up over this. I actually think that I'm going to tell H the truth b/c I can't stand the image I've created of myself. I'm feel like even if H and I don't get back together again, I at least want to kept my self image and my self dignity solid.
I know that I had sound reasons for doing what I did and I really don't like H thinking that I'm sitting waiting for his. But now that I've done this, I KNOW I don't like H (or anyone else that he's told that I'm seeing someone) thinking that I'm no different. So I think I will be a big girl, fess up, and be done with that. I'm sure H won't instantly believe me but at least I will get it off my chest. He may not believe me at all but it is what it is.
Hey, as Michele said, fixing one's marraige is a trial and error process so I'm just going to have to console myself to know that I tried and I err. So if anyone is judging my poor decision with this one, ahhh well!
Sometimes I just wish I could run away, get hypnotized to forget about my H and live and peaceful and stressfree life.
