That's a good one, and I think reasonable to ask. I've been where you are. My wife has been where Amber is. Or maybe it was vise-versa. We've been through this. But honestly, Shawn or Amber, how many times do you see success by repeatedly saying the same thing? People do things differently (change) because they want to, not because they are told to. Sometimes it has to start with you though. Want someone else to change, you change first.
Michael Jackson may be a dork, but the song "Man in the Mirror" is kind of what you are shooting for..."wanna make the world (in this case, your marriage) a better place, take a look in the mirror and make that change. I'm starting with the man (or woman) in the mirror...etc, etc, yada yada"
The fact that you are "both" posting here is at least somewhat hopeful. Marriage can suck. It can be pretty bad. I doubt anyone on here would disagree with me. But if you've been divorced, you'd know that it sucks worse. And the next person to come along has problems too...you just don't see them at first (probably because we don't realize the problems that we bring into the marriage). It's all about perception...take a moment to ask yourself in these scenarios whether it's YOUR problem or YOUR SPOUSES problem. Do you have to fix it? Or can you just listen and try to understand without getting defensive (which seems nearly impossible for a man). I like that you both are at least sharing this, even if we seem full of it. But we're cheaper than a marriage counselor and have been where you are (and maybe have a little experience). Take care.
Me
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
I like that you both are at least sharing this, even if we seem full of it. But we're cheaper than a marriage counselor and have been where you are (and maybe have a little experience). 
