Is your wife displaying the kind of understanding and remorse that Saffie is describing here in her husband? Is she reading any books, going on any support sights to better understand why she did what she did? If not, there's really not much I think you're going to be able to do. You can't MAKE her do the work; you can only let her know what YOU need in order to heal.
What she then does with that info is entirely up to her, and then how you respond to THAT, is entirely up to YOU.
