Thanks for checking in. I stayed out of work yesterday and had a pity party. I don't know why I'm having a more difficult time than usual lately, but for the past week or so I have been extremely down. It's like I'm right back to where I was when she first dropped the bomb. I guess a big part of my problem is the guilt I feel for the way I reacted to her. When I heard her on the phone w/OM I called her a wh*re and other very awful words while I had my mom on the phone listening to me. I really regret doing that, and now my W says that because of that she really can't ever imagine us being married again. I was very hurt and angry that night and all I could think to do was lash out at her. I really do regret that. On the flip side, my W had been saying for months that we're over, long before I reacted so badly to her, so how can this one night, as horrible as it was, be blamed for her decision to end things? IDK, it's like she's just playing mind games with me. I'm beginning to think that I'm the one in the fog...
