Hi Jeff. I'm not surprised by her email. You are not either. I'm glad you are able to face hardships the way you do. It's very hard. I'm sure the praying helps.
I'm going to disect her letter:
I don't talk about it with anyone either. I really have not told anyone except for (best friend) about anything that is going on in my life. I feel like a failure. I don't like to talk about it.
SHE'S EMBARRASSED AND GUILTY. RIGHTFULLY SO.
I don't see any way around it, however. I hate that this happened. If I could turn back time I would.
SHE THINKS THAT THERE IS NOTHING SHE CAN DO TO CHANGE HER FEELINGS. SHE DOESN'T SEE THAT SHE ISN'T SEEING CLEARLY. SHE DOESN'T SEE THAT LOVE IS A CHOICE AND THE FEELING THAT SHE IS LOOKING FOR IS JUST A BEGINNING LOVE OR A LOVE THAT IS ONE THAT SHE HAS GROWN TO BECAUSE SHE IS OLDER. 10 YEARS FROM NOW SHE WILL WANT ANOTHER KIND OF LOVE BECAUSE SHE IS OLDER. WILL SHE DO THIS AGAIN AND AGAIN? SHE IS ALSO PLAYING THE VICTIM ROLE.
I just want to do the very best I can do for everyone from this point forward. My time on this planet is growing short and I want to do good with it. I want to be happy and I want to make other people happy. I want my life to count for something.
OF COURSE THIS WAS SAID BECAUSE RATHER THAN LOOKING AT HERSELF IN THE MIRROR (VERY HARD TO DO) SHE CAN SAY THAT THIS IS FOR THE BEST BECAUSE IT IS NOT FAIR TO YOU. SHE DOESN'T SEE THAT FOR HER LIFE TO COUNT FOR SOMETHING SHE NEEDS TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD AND FOLLOW GOD'S PLAN. GOD HATES DIVORCE. COMMITTMENT AND LOYALTY COUNTS FOR SOMETHING.
Sincerely,
SHE CAN'T EVEN SAY "LOVE"? YOU ARE RIGHT THAT SHE IS LOST. I WONDER IF SOME DAY SHE REALLY WILL SEE WHAT LOVE IS.
She sure missed out on you, Jeff. I'm so glad for your kids, though. They are lucky to have you. I just got the Love Languages Book for CHildren and am reading that. I love my son more than anything and show him often, but that book gives you a way to look at it and refreshes those ideas. Not that you need it. Just a good read.
