The D is dismissed. Now what?

[Silent Chrleader]

Hey, [[Upside]]!

I see so many positives in your sitch!! The "waffling" your H is doing may be brutally maddening, but from what I've heard, it's completely normal!

It sounds a little like you are scared about your own loss of feeling.......I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing. You've been though such he** in the past couple years, you must be emotionally exhausted. Plus, you have have done a lot of soul searching and learning what you really need from a relationship, and you aren't completely sure that your H can give it to you! Remember this is a journey, and not just for your H, but you too!

Take each day for the gift it is, and let your destiny reveal itself to you in it's own time.

Hang in there!!

((((()))))

[Grace_O]

So why do I feel like if he is really trying to work on our M, he would pick up the phone and just to say something like "Hi. I just wanted to check in and see how you are doing"? Is that really too much to ask???

Yep, it is. Asking anything is too much. You know that. That he's "working" on your M may feel like enough to him, or at least the best he can do.

I can appreciate the frustration. After 2 years you're still living on the razor blade. He says he wants to work on it, but it doesn't really feel like it to you. You know him, I don't, so do you think he's just talk or do you think he means it. How do you think his efforts look/feel to him?

I can't imagine all that waffeling (pass the syrup please...)and I know how much you miss being cherished. So vent away and don't forget to breathe.

BEAR HUGS

[Upside]

Still no phone call from my H. We did exchange a few emails yesterday morning so I asked if him if he was going to be able to make our C appointment scheduled for tonight or do I need to cancel. He said he would let me know.

I had really bad night last night. I was letting things get to me and I was feeling very alone. My D had gone to watch a basketball game and my S had gone to practice. I had told the kids I was making dinner and I would be waiting for them to get home. About 8:15 my D calls to tell me that she and her brother were going to be late since they were getting something to eat. I just lost it. I just had this overwhelming feeling that I do all these things for everyone else and no one cares. Does anyone else ever feel that way? The kids tried to tell me it was a misunderstanding and that they didn't eat (yeah right) and they couldn't understand what I was so upset about.

About 9:00, I got a text from my H telling me that he just go home and that his trial seem to be going ok. He said that our C appointment for tonight should be ok and he asked how I am and how the kids are. I still haven't replied.

Right now I am struggling with how not to just blast my H when we are at C tonight. We have not spoken in 9 freaking days!!! I just can't understand my H's way of thinking here...seriously, he will probably be surprised that it has been that long...I am sure he hasn't even thought about it.

glam-It is a good thing that your feelings for your H don't cycle. I sometimes question why I don't just move on.

CMNM-As I said, you and I are in the same place...seeing some positives but our H's still find ways to keep their distance. UGH!!!

SC-You are right, each day is a gift and I need to remember that...especially when I have a night like last night.

Grace-How are you? What is new with you? How are are your girls?

You know him, I don't, so do you think he's just talk or do you think he means it. How do you think his efforts look/feel to him?

I think my H really means what he says when he says it BUT something keeps him stuck and then he brings up reasons (excuses) why he might not want to recommit, why he likes to be alone. I get so frustrated by all of this, it makes me wonder if I want him back.

Thanks everyone. Your thoughts really do help.

[Grace_O]

I just lost it. I just had this overwhelming feeling that I do all these things for everyone else and no one cares. Does anyone else ever feel that way?

Oh yeah. Then I try to remember that I need them to need me more than they do sometimes. It's hard esp with teenagers. They are out there GAL and we need to do that to. Not in the same way they doof course, but it is a wake up call to take better care of myself (or in your case YOU).

I'm doing ok. The girls are doing pretty well and nothing has really changed. H still hasn't filed, he still comes to visit the girls every Sunday etc. Thanks for asking. I'll have to find my old or start a new thread at some point.

I hope he does show for your C tonight, but will blasting him really help? You said it yourself, he probably doesn't realize how long it's been.

HUGS

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Start a new one Grace. : )

[Silent Chrleader]

I just had this overwhelming feeling that I do all these things for everyone else and no one cares. Does anyone else ever feel that way?

Yep! But those feeling are gradually subsiding.....I only feel that way about a 100 times a day now (I'm sure I was above 1000 at one point!)

For me it's not just that no one seems to care what I do for them, it's more that I feel like I am the only person I know that actually seems to care for someone other than themselves!!

It's very discouraging and makes me mad!

Hang in there, Upside! I really think you are on the downhill side of all this! Keep the faith!

[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]