Originally Posted By: Cinco
Originally Posted By: Ali
I wanted more than "SAVING IT".
I wanted to be Happily Married.
Not like in the Fairy Tales.
But content and loved and respected. Like he was committed to me too.

I wanted for him to open his heart and yet I had an escape plan in the back of my head.
Just in case, he leaves.
So it wont hurt so much.
yes I gave too much, but at a price.
The price was I was holding back the very thing he always wanted MY SELF , the REAL ME.

Ali can I print this and give this to Mrs. Cinco? This is absolute gold.

This says exactly what has been holding us back too. Yes we saved our marriage 7 years ago. It never was quite a happy marriage again though. I think we both had our escape plans in the backs of our heads and that is what has kept us apart. Mrs. Cinco never felt that she had my total commitment so she never opened her heart fully to me. My heart was never fully open to her either because I could sense her mistrust.

Remember her admitting to me now that she doesn't trust that I won't leave her again?

This makes it so clear to me why it never felt quite right and what we have to do if we are to ever have that true passion for one another again. We must rebuild the trust for each other again. Then we will be able to love again with open hearts.

I like this Ali. \:\)

Cinco


I am glad you like it...
Try it. Do it~
Close the escape door and give from the best of you.
You will notice. ( a difference * you will feel it)


I think I remember one of my first posts to you I did also say ...
Give from the very best in you.
I knew that was **KEY**
but I lacked the tools and that knowledge to completely freely give from the best in me.


That post ?

I didnt think too much... I just stayed open and typed.
That is why I thanked FIB.
I had an *AHA * moment ( like Oprah says)

I have been opening myself up with Yoga and THE WORK and just looking at myself and my actions.

How can I expect for him to jump in the pool w/o checking the water?
When I refuse to get in or just put my toe in?


I think you need to read PM again with an open mind and you will find all the GOLD in you Cinco.

Make amends with your past , not to MRS CINCO .
TO ******YOU*********

and go from there.
MY face is blue ,, but I wont stop telling you what I know to be true.

Forgive yourself and then polish the Diamond in the rough that you are.
This will be the *absolute* best gift you ever give yourself.
If I can do it?

SO CAN YOU. ;\)
You are either in it or your not. I know you know what to do.
All my best,,, your friend.
Ali