I am in no position to judge, so understand that I am not doing that to you. I can tell you that I do not believe that anything positive comes from lying to your spouse. You can answer "yes" to many of those questions and doubts that you had......and I think you probably already know that.

The DR book does teach to move forward and to get a life. It even tells us to be vague and to have some mystery about us, but nowhere does it ever tell us to lie. You have made things much worse now and a whole lot harder for yourself. But, that is not to say you can't keep trying. I am not sure what the answer would be other than to just tell him that you had hoped to make him jealous by saying there was OM, but that there wasn't. Tell him you are setting him free to do whatever he wants to do and you won't stand in his way. Tell him you are moving forward. Then drop the rope. That is about the only chance I personally see that you have now. It may take some time before he comes around, but if he really believes that he will lose you, then it may wake him up and cause him to come get you. That is what you wanted him to do when you tried to make him think there was OM, wasn't it? Only, this way, you will not be lying to him. It seems to be the only way for him to realize that you are NOT like everyone else around him.....by coming clean with what you've done. Be honest, real, and humble and then walk away.

By telling him that you are setting him free, I do not mean to file for divorce. I simply mean to tell him you will not try to hold him back from doing whatever he wants to do. That often times gets their attention more than anything else. I hope it will work for you.




It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!