I wanted more than "SAVING IT". I wanted to be Happily Married. Not like in the Fairy Tales. But content and loved and respected. Like he was committed to me too.
I wanted for him to open his heart and yet I had an escape plan in the back of my head. Just in case, he leaves. So it wont hurt so much. yes I gave too much, but at a price. The price was I was holding back the very thing he always wanted MY SELF , the REAL ME.
Ali can I print this and give this to Mrs. Cinco? This is absolute gold.
This says exactly what has been holding us back too. Yes we saved our marriage 7 years ago. It never was quite a happy marriage again though. I think we both had our escape plans in the backs of our heads and that is what has kept us apart. Mrs. Cinco never felt that she had my total commitment so she never opened her heart fully to me. My heart was never fully open to her either because I could sense her mistrust.
Remember her admitting to me now that she doesn't trust that I won't leave her again?
This makes it so clear to me why it never felt quite right and what we have to do if we are to ever have that true passion for one another again. We must rebuild the trust for each other again. Then we will be able to love again with open hearts.
