Experiencing the endless seige of anger from a MLCer never makes sense, and takes one's last breath away. But that is what fine people must endure during the crisis, and FIB is one fine dude.
We have all taken our turns trying to explain the root causes of the MLC's low self esteem, self medicating with sex and substances or shopping, and such on other threads. One thing that doesn't get as much post time on a lot of threads as it probably will here, is the MLC's endless need to "punish" the one they feel is most responsible for their unhappiness. Yes, the one closest by, in this case FIB.
No apologies or changed behaviors will suffice. "Too little too late" is the tattoo. And there seems to be an eternal need to remind the one responsible of just how worthless they are. It must certainly make the MLCer feel much better, since they do choose to pursue this abuse at every opportunity. The absolute worst possible result of all this abuse is that children might be misled by it. The next worst possible result is that the LBS victim may begin to believe any of it, and lower their own self confidence or esteem to the standard being set by the MLCer.
Never let it happen. Always consider the source. Put it all in perspective, and then Live The Better Life. That action is one that kids will eventually come to know as the normal parent.
If you clean the end of the drive because it needs it, ok. Do not apologize or expect any recognition. That is what the guy on either side of you got for his efforts, from his normal spouse. Or heck, maybe she cleaned their drive. I hear it happens when it is that important!
