FIB, So let me get this straight your W whose banging other men stays home? And she's bitching at YOU for ice at the bottom of the driveway...huh...wow, MLC never stops amazing me!
Your W is throwing the best man she will ever have out of her life. I'm sorry she is still hurting you.
You know FIB, I think some people (like your W) actually thrive on or are addicted to anger. And as you are doing so well, the best thing is to not feed their anger with a response.
There was a Fleets enema in the garbage basket in the bathroom tonite.
'Nuf said.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
FIB, that was absolutely perfect - not responding. Keep it up. I do believe she is thriving on getting to you - makes her feel better and then she can try to justify it all in her teeny tiny head.
Experiencing the endless seige of anger from a MLCer never makes sense, and takes one's last breath away. But that is what fine people must endure during the crisis, and FIB is one fine dude.
We have all taken our turns trying to explain the root causes of the MLC's low self esteem, self medicating with sex and substances or shopping, and such on other threads. One thing that doesn't get as much post time on a lot of threads as it probably will here, is the MLC's endless need to "punish" the one they feel is most responsible for their unhappiness. Yes, the one closest by, in this case FIB.
No apologies or changed behaviors will suffice. "Too little too late" is the tattoo. And there seems to be an eternal need to remind the one responsible of just how worthless they are. It must certainly make the MLCer feel much better, since they do choose to pursue this abuse at every opportunity. The absolute worst possible result of all this abuse is that children might be misled by it. The next worst possible result is that the LBS victim may begin to believe any of it, and lower their own self confidence or esteem to the standard being set by the MLCer.
Never let it happen. Always consider the source. Put it all in perspective, and then Live The Better Life. That action is one that kids will eventually come to know as the normal parent.
If you clean the end of the drive because it needs it, ok. Do not apologize or expect any recognition. That is what the guy on either side of you got for his efforts, from his normal spouse. Or heck, maybe she cleaned their drive. I hear it happens when it is that important!
What W2 said...except I do wonder about how "good" it makes the WAS really feel. Yes, it must do something for them b/c they sure like to launch attacks daily and the anger really doesn't belong in this galaxy, and yet FIB keeps getting it...
yet something tells me in FIB"s sitch, it reminds me of the Terminator when the attack/machine started to melt and didn't know what to do so it kept changing forms; she throws out diff insults and flings crap onto FIB hoping it'll "fit" b/c she knows she is circling the drain...and if he isn't the really really bad guy and her family is falling apart....then, oh my.
getting more desparate. That's the word I'd use, desparate. And afraid, and sooooo furious. Like I say, keep your helmet on...
((( hugs ))) j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Was2sad...25...great posts. That is my problem..personally..which I am working on...the continued beatings. They have become abusive.
Originally Posted By: Bermuda Pirate T-shirt
The beatings will continue until morale improves
This mornings beatings: 1) The kids and I woke up and were watching Horton Hears a Who before school. It is my week on the couch. I went upstairs to pick out clothes for S8. On the way down, XXX was on the way up...and reached over to grab his clothes out of my hand.
2) In dictatorial fashion, long outstretched arm and pointing to the stove: "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO CLEAN UP THOSE POTS ON THE STOVE. THEY'RE FERMENTING. (well, I am guilty on this one...I had filled a pot with detergent to soak off the grease and they should have been cleaned already, but, wouldn't a "please clean those pots" have been nicer? ) FUHGEDDABOUDDIT.
I said nothing. There is nothing I can say or do that will have any type of a positive or constructive outcome.
Part of this is probably emanating from the trips we are taking the kids on. About two weeks ago, D5 started talking about our ski strip. XXX went nuts and booked a weekend trip to the Bahamas as if in competition. On the rec of my L, I typed up a letter listing both our itineraries and adding that the parents would have the kids call each parent once a day and any other time that they are missing the other parent. I also requested her to list an emergency contact number. The paper has yet to be signed and returned to me. I am taking the kids to Maine for a few days of skiing with my buddy "Anthony".
FIB "Shaken, but not stirred"
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
"WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO STOP BEING A PSYCHO?" but you know, that probably would not be very dbing...
I'm useless tonight. All I want to do is give her snappy one liners...sorry FIB.
( j )
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
