It's good to see you're getting some of what you ask for. That your D asked her to wear the necklace and she did is really nice. I'm sure your D feels good about it. I like that it's been a few days. It may come off it may not. Mostly I hope your D is proud of herself for asking.
I forgot to mention my W is not going on the cruise. There were two reasons why they weren't going. One reason was what we discussed, if she went on the cruise, I was going to D her. The second reason, was some of the others backed out.
Today, while my W layed on the couch, I hugged her until she was uncomfortable. We hugged each other until my she got a little nervous. I could tell she was getting uncomfortable so I kissed her on the cheek and went about my buisness.
When she left for work, I got a hug and asked for a kiss on the cheek. She kissed me on the cheek and left.
A few days ago, I was feeling agitated. I felt like I wanted to run away. I tried to put my life into some type of perspective. What I have is D11 and a wife who won't kiss me. In the short term, the idea of running away sounds better each day.
Today, I had a bad day. Things in the office were going from bad to worse. There was a good chance I would have to stay late. My W had already made plans to go out with one of her GFs (never me)and someone needed to take D11 to her basketball game.
When my W called me at work, I knew she didn't plan on taking D to the game. I explained my situation and told her I might be late, but I would try to make it home on time. I managed to leave the office on time, but I got stuck in traffic. I called to say I would be late, but I got her voicemail.
I was asking myself why am I trying to get home so she could go out? I'm running late and she already know how hectic the Friday ride home can be. When she called back I was ready to let her have it. I told her I was stuck in traffic and I wasn't going to be home for a while. She said that we'll have to figure something out. That comment alone helped me feel better. Then I said I don't think I'll be home in time so you can go out. She said she could be late. This made me feel less angry.
She asked me why I told her I wasn't going to be home in time. I said because you always get angry when you want to go out and I'm not home in time. She said she understood that I was running late and there was nothing I could do. I thanked her for understanding and then said goodbye.
This is different for her. No fighing, no attitude and no silent treatment. I would have to say this is a big change for her.
Your post sounds like your W's Act As If is better than your Act As If. You were angry and expecting the worst. What would happen if you expect the best? If you don't get it then act like a duck and let it roll off.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
It does look like her ACT as If if far better than mine. Or she may think this is what a good M is like, minus the R, intimate talks, time together. My W has a noodle for a brain. She's too much into material things which I'm not.
A neighbor asked if I wanted their big screen projection televison and I said no. My W was upset and said she was taking it anyways. I didn't fight with her about it, but I was planning on buying a newer TV for the living room. Someone in our F's family wanted the TV so it went there. Now my W has no big screen TV or am I going to buy a newer one anytime soon. She didn't know of my plans of getting the newer TV so she won't know what she lost.
Our D slept over a friends house last night. I asked my W if she wanted to go out for a drink. She declined my invitation saying she already made plans with her GF. Instead of staying home all night I went out. I got home around 2AM and she wasn't home by the time I fell a sleep at 3:30. In the morning she was sleeping in our bedroom and I slipped into bed to catch up on my sleep. A few hours later I told her I was upset she didn't call.
She said she always calls and I said it wasn't true. She said if she makes plans without someone she follows through with them. I told her that she couldn't do that with me because everytime I ask you to do something you say you don't know or no. So you can't break plans with me if you don't make any.
Then I told her I was disappointed she didn't go out with me. If she told her friend she was going out with her husband she would understand. Then I called her a looser. She said she doesn't call me names so why do I have to. She does call me name so she isn't perfect. I told my W how we are only room mates. That we live together and she's always comes to me for money. But if I ask her to do anything alone with me she declines. I asked her if this was someone else, what would you call them. You only call them when you need something. I told her the next time she needs money then go ask her GFs.
Then I showed my W that I was wearing my wedding ring. I stopped wearing it b/c it hurt so much to be reminded of our terrible M. I told her I can't hurt anymore so I put the ring back on. What we have is a bad M. I told her if I had a magic ball I wouldn't have M her. I said if the same magic ball told me about D11 I would still M my W but it would be my decision.
Our argument wasn't an angry one. Whe I called my W a loser it was one of the most difficult things I ever had to say to her. I told her our M couldn't get any lower. I said there's no way but up from here. Then I told her I don't care anymore I can keep on staying on my side of the bed. I can keep on going out by myself. I said how I feel like I'm being punished over and over again for something she only knows or forgot what made her angry.
Finally, I told my W about something I read. How kissing is important to get an R going. Since we're not kissing then there's no way our M will get better. So why should I care what you do. I asked for a kiss but she turned her head. So I said I guess you don't want to work on this. Then she gave me a quick peck on the lips.
I think my W has realized she's getting older. Still no real physical contact, but she smiles and argues more. She refuses to go back to a MC and I don't think the one we use to see was that helpful. Often I joke around with D11 and say stupid suff to make her laugh. My W has laughed at a few of these jokes.
I'm able to hug her when I please and she doesn't seem to get bothered by it. I can also get away with kissing her on the cheek but not the lips. Sometimes I'll ask for a kiss on the lips and she will but I don't think I should ask anymore.
She also made plans for us to go away with some friends this summer. I told her today that I always thought that when our D was older we could take off for romantic weekends. Since were not romanic it can't happen - my W didn't say anything.
Today my W and I had our first dinner alone. It's been awhile since we did and it was nice. She talked about going away and taking D11 on a vacation.
After dinner she gave me a quick hug which for some reason didn't feel tense. She ran off to go out with her GF, but before she left she thanked me for dinner.
A few weeks ago my W and I got into a huge fight. It started when I said something to my SS22 about eating in his room. She came home from our neighbor's house and went crazy yelling screaming pumching the wall hurting herself so much that I had to hold her arms down. After she calmed down for awhile she told me what she didn't like about me. My only response is your right I'm not perfect. Then she started hitting me, I told her that I've always knew what she didn't like about me but it was something I've been working on.
It's been quiet since then and I just keep doing my own thing. My W will still stay out at all hours of the night. She justifies her actions by saying she sticks to the promises she makes. Today I told her that her behavior is childish and selfish. That she holds grudges and needs to grow up. Then I left the room. I didn't have an angry tone or talk down to her.
Before she left the house she came to me and gave me a hug. Then a tiny kiss. When she kisses me her lips are so stiff, but it's a start.
