There are a lot of pros and cons on exposing an EA. If your goal is to bust it up.....it could push her into a PA. If my H had exsposed me to my family, I would have left embarrassed and ashamed and probably straight to the OM. I believe the spouse should be confronted about the A and try to work it out between the couple. If the OM is M, then you start getting into more problems. Should his W know, etc. Should the kids be told and if so, at how old should they be and how much should they be told, etc.
My problem was that in my stitch, my elderly mother was told, and it caused her to go down health-wise a lot that year. I felt she was innocent and should not have been involved. The argument is--that the person that is involved in the affair should have thought about all of the innocent people before entering the affair! The thing about EA's is that most of the time that is the last thing that anyone involved thinks about. I know it was with me. So, I still don't know what the best thing to do.....about EA's and especially if she already has left you. I know what Puppy says and he will probably give you his advice. I have changed my opinion about exposing affairs in some situations. So, I have come around quite a bit, but I'm still not sure about the same rule applying to every stitch. Perhaps that sounds "off" somehow, but I am just remembering how I felt as an AWAW and what I would have done in the frame of mind that I was in at that time, and it would have been the worst thing that I could have done! I think it should be weighed very carefully and think about how it will affect those that are told, also. Guess I shouldn't even say anything, but that is just my feelings.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
