Forgive AND forget?

[Phoenix_spark]

That was great, some of that is real life though, that's what makes it great.

[WCW]

I just love my Mom. She is 78.
Last week she sent an email and said something funny and I replied to her ROFLMAO. She emailed back and asked what that meant? I told her.
I sent her these jokes and you guessed it.
She replied - ROFLMAO!!

I just took another call from a cc company looking for H. They won't talk to me, just have H call them. I'm so confused about what to do. Try to talk about it again? leave a note on the table for him? ignore it all? get his name off the property deeds?

There is an insulated travel mug that H got from ow years ago. It's rarely left his sight. There's been so many times I wanted to discreetly lose it or throw it under the manure pile. More and more H has left it home, I think he has replaced the ow mug! Literally.

[peacetoday]

WCW
CC Companies are looking for my STBx as well
In my agreement all his cards will be written excusing wife from any liability
I dont know what the laws are ..I dont think CC co cant take any property..not sure
This is a tough situation if you are still M
I think it bears a talk and investigating ways to try to protect yourself
I stuck my head in the sand for 2 years until H had almost ruined our business and our only source of income
I took legal action to get the business away from him
and I did
I suggest anyone to take care of themselves
too many of these MLCers spent it all leaving LBS penniless
Peace

[WCW]

Thanks peace. H maintains that it is his debt and he will take care of it and I am not liable (one cc did confirm that for me). But he also won't admit he has this debt! That's only if he will say anything at all. I feel like my hands are so tied, I don't see any statements or know much for details but I get calls from them, and the cc won't give details. I told them then I won't give messages! That'll fixem.

I was in bed before H arrived home last night. Three times during the night he hovered around the bedroom, after midnight he walked in to see if I was there. The timing was such that I had all the covers thrown off me (night sweats) and laying there in my All Naturelle pj's. He said he saw lights on out in the indoor arena, then realized it must have been the motion light I recently hung up. I hope it was the cats and not mice setting it off!

I had a list of things I planned to ask H about this morning. Some R stuff, some just daily stuff. Turns out he was out the door early to do chores because he has a stress test today resulting from his physical. He said last fall while hunting he had shortness of breath. I am glad he has come far enough to take care of his health.

So speaking of health, would any of you ladies join a discussion thread about ladies health issues? Maybe that's a whole different website but it seems to mesh or clash with other issues in a R or M or MLC.

[WCW]

I guess that's a no.

Minor breakthrough, H and I had a civil convo about cc debt. Didn't really get anywhere but we didn't go backwards, H didn't get all cranked off, and we left the door open to talk more.

Saw the movie Fireproof last night. Pretty intense!

[NNP1965]

How would said discussion board work? I am a little confused about what you are looking for.

WCW, I am so proud of and for you and H!!!!! WTG!

Loved that movie.... I guess now I understand why H was less than moved by it when we saw it

[WCW]

My H is such a swell guy. Mostly sort of.

Saturday H had to get paperwork in the mail so I offered to do his morning chores. It was a warmer day and I ended up spending the whole day outside except for when I came in to cook us up something to eat late morning. By that time H had his stuff in the mailbox, we ate, I went back out. H stayed inside, and mid afternoon he came to find me and let me know he was leaving. He didn't offer where he was going and I didn't ask.

I kept working on stuff until dark, and got inside just in time to smell the roast burning because all the water boiled off. I am such a good cook! It honestly turned out tasty as I added other stuff to make a burrito sorta roll up thingy.

I took a shower and H came home, didn't offer where he was but mentioned that he saw a friend of ours and talked a bit about that. We ate my wonderful cooking.

Earlier in the day I had asked H if he was interested in getting together with friends that had been asking to get together with us. At first he shook his head no but then said ok. The friends ended up being busy.

Sunday morning we had a planned family breakfast, it turns out to be an event with over 20 people. H has always loved this as much as all the rest of the family. He even made some little stickers to take along and give to the little kids.

Some of the results of conversation during breakfast is that H will be resurrecting a website for my nephew, and my sis needed help switching over to a new internet provider. H offered to help her and because we were already so close to her house we went straight there. I asked about going home for the afternoon to do stuff in the daylight (we had talked about that on the way to breakfast) and coming back later, but we ended up spending the rest of the day there and left during Super Bowl halftime.

This morning H was out early because he has a 'rest test' today at the hospital, the other half of his stress test. H did start my truck for me, and I went to say bye and also ask a question. I told him I am working on a picture project to send the grandkids for Valentines Day, and I wanted to include a picture of all of H's World Champion belt buckles and ribbons. Problem is H hauled them off somewhere a few years ago, so I asked if he would take a picture for me or bring them back so I could take a picture. He got his 'I am uncomfortable talking about this face' but said ok, I'm just not sure which question he said ok too.

When we were talking H's cc debt he offered another reason how it my fault that I put him in such debt. When our beloved Mother Mare fell ill year before last those vet bills got charged to one of H's cc's. It was a big chunk of money and H said he didn't mind but didn't realize that had happened and then didn't pay the total cc bill. Now I partially believe him but I also reminded him that he had told me the $$$$ amount and I paid him that day before the cc bill was even due, and then he went out and bought himself a new camera. H said he didn't use my money to buy his camera. Bottom line is he still wants to blame me for his problems and not own up to his own responsibility. I also told H that quite a while ago I switched the records at the vets office so everything gets billed to me. He looked blank for a while, and then said 'I wondered why I didn't see anything anymore.'

In case you got lost reading all that here's a recap -
- H got paperwork in the mail on time
- H accepted my help
- H and I had friendly conversation
- H agreed to plans together with me
- H said my almost burnt cooking was good
- H inserts himself more into my family
- H was going to help me with ranch stuff but we got diverted
- H is checking into his health
- H talked about cc debt, no admission of total amounts
- H didn't get cranked when I asked about something he took from the home
- I am pushing and stretching H's comfort zone a little piece at a time

I am still in limbo and don't know how this will all turn out, there is so much still wrong but I finally feel like the Grand Canyon gap isn't getting wider between us. I feel like I am glad on the outside that H is being a swell guy to everyone, but on the inside I hurt that he isn't that way to me. Yet.

[brandnewday]

- H got paperwork in the mail on time
- H accepted my help
- H and I had friendly conversation
- H agreed to plans together with me
- H said my almost burnt cooking was good
- H inserts himself more into my family
- H was going to help me with ranch stuff but we got diverted
- H is checking into his health
- H talked about cc debt, no admission of total amounts
- H didn't get cranked when I asked about something he took from the home
- I am pushing and stretching H's comfort zone a little piece at a time

WOW!!!


Look at all of those positives!!!!!!!!

I feel like I am glad on the outside that H is being a swell guy to everyone, but on the inside I hurt that he isn't that way to me. Yet.

I am so glad you added the YET

[WCW]

The week has been going along pretty good. I feel that H seems a little more relaxed and smiles more around just me, we talk about some day to day plans.
I so want to be a piece of his day to day plans but for now I have to settle for at least that he is telling me some of them instead of just leaving and saying nothing.
It may be me projecting too much of my own feeling into this thought but I feel that H can relax a little since we talked a little and took the cover off his secret cc debt. A lot of work to do there yet.

I was at a meeting and we were introducing ourselves. One guy realized who I was and then talked about H, and how good he is at what he does. I said 'thank you, I will let him know'. The rest of the room exploded and said 'NO, it will go to his head and he will charge us all more!' I said 'ok, then I will tell H he really got ripped up at the meeting' and they laughed. I told H the story and he nearly got flustered at the compliments.

Now the part that is making me rage again, and poor H doesn't even know! I got an email about an event that ow is having and she is looking for help.... I know I just have to learn to deal with this as I am sure there will be more and more of it in the future. I just see red and am angry and full of rage, anything about her sets me off! Rumor has been that I've already bitch slapped her and I sure would love for that rumor to be true! But I have to deal with this, we are both in the horse world and will continue crossing paths. It's a good thing I will be out of the state during her event or there is a good chance I would pull on my best boots and strut into her place.
I know part of it is jealousy in me because she has this Horse Palace that is funded by money she got from D'ing her H to be clear to go full throttle after mine. She doesn't have to work hard, she fell into it. People have told me that my H is the one that designed her place and it has his telltale stamps on it.
I know that I should be happy that my H is home every night and not with her.
BUT I WANT MORE!!!

My great Mom just called to let me know she got her phone fixed. The other day she had said it must have a bad battery because it stays dark all the time. I asked her if it was on as I've tried and tried to reach her on her cell phone but it goes straight to vm. She said she fixed it now, she turned it on. lol I love my Mom!

[WCW]

Today I get this -

When you are discontent, you always want more, more, more. Your desire can never be satisfied. But when you practice contentment, you can say to yourself, 'Oh yes -- I already have everything that I really need.'
- The Dalai Lama