Hmm...is it about K ?.. I'm not sure that people are a certain way, or behave or act day in day out a certain way purely becuase of the person near to them in their life.
If he's being that way, thats because that is who he is, thats how he chooses to behave and thats how he expresses himself, thats the extent of his emotional maturity or just his personality? I dont think he is that way because K "scares him", or he is intimidated, or confused. I think he is just being himself, largely and sounds like, as Bill said, he haasnt really changed much over hte past few years, this experience hasnt altered him, or his behaviour, not noticeably anyway.
He hasnt had to deal with the shock of a dreadful loss..he hasnt had to deal with grief, he hasnt had to face abandonement issues, or feeling rejected or alone or hurt.. or any of the huge, difficult, painful things us LBS have had to. Yes, he has had to deal with guilt, but seeing as he is doing little to appease yuo, I dont think he has taken his feelings of guilt and remorse very seriously so far.
Maybe we modify our behaviour somewaht to accomodate our spouse.. but for example.. he shouts and gets angry because that is how he has always expressed himself when he gets frustrated... he is thoughtless with gifts becuase he always was, he doesnt spend much time with you, or the family, becuase he was like that before he left, thats his 'modus operandi' not becuase he is scared, confused and intimidated by you. In a way that absolves him of the responsibility of his actions doesnt it, and places some of the blame at your door. But he has a choice here. He chose to leave. He chose to come back. He chose to shout at you even this weekend and not do much in the way to repair the damage done by his leaving.
Sorry if what I say isnt in line with the other helpful peeps here!
