Sara, I am not angry. I love it that you stand by me and although you have reconciled you can see my frustrations. FG does too. He is trying to "navigate me", take the edge off my corners as we say in Greek to be able to achieve my goal which still is to create a solid R within my M.
But Forrest, you do sound like you excuse my H and expect me to forget and act as if too much too often. That's why I said you ask for too much.
Today I sent him an email saying the following :
Yesterday sucked and if I have a choice I choose not to have another day like that again. What I thought when you felt you had to yell at me on behalf of our D were the following:
...and mentioned things that had to do with yesterday such as yelling at me in front of the kids, not knowing the previous arrangement I had with D, being sarcastic about the seriousness of the issue...
And then made a new paragraph saying :
This is what was going on in the back of my head: 1. How dare you talk to me about yelling, you were yelling at the poor kids and scaring them when they were 4&5 years old for months before the bomb forcing friends and family (his dad also) to step in and tell you to stop on numerous occasions 2. You left them and me because you couldn't stand them (his words) 3. You say you stopped and I say that is easy when you hardly see them. Every time we spend more than 5 hours together you have an outburst 4. You have no saying in my house 5.I maybe loud but do my best, I am always there for them and they know they can count on me. I am human and do good and bad 6. How dare you accuse solely me for Ss aggressive behavior? Before you accuse consider your contribution and what kind of example you set for them : how to lie to their mom, disrespect her, be cold with her, leave her...
I ended my note saying "I chose to hold back and calmly share these with you to show you that things are dealt on various, different levels in my head... I hope you can handle the truth. This is my good act of the day for our R."
