Hi Kalni, I'm a romantic myself...and I see where you're coming from...perhaps the difference in how we receive those words is just in how we assume they are spoken...For me, "you complete me" reminds me of when B would say that we were "soul mates" - though I felt cold-hearted, I would say that I didn't think such a thing existed - since when she would talk about being "soul mates" she always seemed to mean that we had to give up ourselves in order to be together...We weren't "soul mates" in the sense of sharing - we were, to her, "soul mates" in the sense of having our lives too much entangled in one another's and that troubled me.
Sharing my life with someone I love is what I want - it's what I wanted with B - it's what I had tried to offer her - and when the bomb dropped, I tried to learn to a new way to share my life with her based on all the things she would tell me were wrong with me/us...Now, months later, I see that there really wasn't anything I could do to "convince" her to want to be with me - or to change her mind...and that I could only work at improving myself - and once I started working on those improvements, and accepted them as something I would have to work on for the rest of my life - I saw that sharing my life with someone in this way - without wanting my partner to fill any voids for me - was very different - since if I felt more whole I could give with a real sense of unconditional love...I had never understood the idea of unconditional love before.
Kalni, not only 6 months ago, but even just two weeks ago I would have thought you were crazy if you had brought up the idea of having feelings for someone else. I wasn't looking for it - wasn't thinking about it - wasn't even aware that I could...but they kind of grew on their own...and so now I'm just being as careful as possible - monitoring myself and my emotions - and asking myself often if I am allowing myself to feel too much too quickly - or if I am drawn to a "way out." I don't want anyone to be hurt because of the pain I have already been through...
