Hi everyone, it has been a while since I last posted. After a few painstaking weeks of "watching" my H and his actions, I came to the unequivocal conclusion that he just does not feel the right way about me. We've spent so much time together since October or so and things have not improved, no physical contact at all, and no emotional closeness. There is no husband/wife connection. If anything we've gotten even further apart, despite spending so much of our time together. Plus, I know there's OW involved in some form or fashion, whether or not they're sleeping together at this point is debatable.
So yesterday, I told H that although it wasn't what I wanted, I felt we needed to separate, that THIS (what we are doing) is just not working. We didn't get very far with the conversation, as it started to turn into an argument. So he left and we agreed we'll talk again after we cool down. We haven't agreed on a time to talk yet, it could be a few days or a few weeks. It doesn't matter to me too much when we have the talk as long as it comes relatively soon. In the meantime, I am going to start moving forward in my life now and the talk we will have will just be a formality: schedules, property, etc.
Everybody said I would know when the time was right for me to let go, and I feel it is now. How can I be with someone who clearly does not want to be with me. Who is only "putting time in?"
I am beyond sad though and am hurting pretty bad. No matter how much you think you are ready, it really hurts to let go of someone you have been with for 20 years. Perhaps that is part of the reason he has hung on to me in the way he has. Thanks again to those who offered advice to me on my thread.
