If you snoop and confront her, then she will view it as big time control. So you can snoop and find out something you may not want to know and then let it eat you alive or drop the rope and let go. She will do what she wants anyway, she is an adult with a teenage mind right now. NOT the wife you know and love.
Snooping = anger and anxiety for you and only you. Why make things more difficult for yourself than they already are?
The more you argue the more justification she has to act crazy. Stop. You have to focus on YOU. If you don't want to sit in silence then don't. Get out of there for a while and do something for you.
The more you sit and dwell upon her and her craziness the more you will feel like your going out of your mind.
Your children and you is where your focus needs to be. The faster you figure this out the better.
