It bugs me a bit that she expects you to be perfection personified, but she's allowed to be bitchy and flawed.:)
Aud, I think you've captured the current R dynamic. Of course, it can't continue like this.
The R careened into a ditch last night. My W and I went to a dance together last night (bad idea). She continued to pick at me prior during the day. I was hoping the dance would lift my spirits.
I couldn't seem to relax and find joy. During a dance with my W, I snapped at her. The evening was over after that point. When we got home, she kicked me and the dog out of the bedroom and the family room.
I wasn't able to cultivate goodwill last night. I told her that she can't continue to pick at me and not expect it not to affect me. I'm only human.
I think I realize that I need to have some expectations for the R, as discussed in Divorce Remedy. The first and basic one is to be spoken to respectfully. I'm going to repeat and reinforce this expectation with her.
She needs to put some effort into managing her moods and choosing her words, even if she's upset about things.
We haven't been on a good path lately, and things needed to fall apart a bit. Hopefully, something constructive can come out of this.
I'm scheduled to see my IC on 2/13. I'll meet with him and put together a game plan regarding my W's involvement.
CL
Last edited by Concerned_Listener; 02/02/0911:24 AM.
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
