You've gotten some great advice Jackie! Only you would know if Disney would be fun for your H. I got engaged there and my X and I had wonderful times there...but now he's taken the OW there so it kinda ruins it for me. But then, that's what he was hoping I think.

Back to you: I think that when men get into this deal with pressure, work, kids, guilt, and esp. if OW are involved...they just don't have the foresight to look at what WE are doing. Yep, you need to make home a soft place for him to fall and yep, it means giving up having him make his arms your soft place to fall. It seems that the stresses of being a mom just arent' understood by many men.

Mine never understood. He retaliated when I didnt' make our home his soft place to fall, but never, no matter if I were sick or injured or sad or in menopause...well, he never gave me those arms wrapped around me to tell ME things would be ok. It seems like when they are down, that men just need us to give, give , give.

So, if you want to save the marriage, then that is what you have to do and you have to think of it as a long term giving without getting much. If and when he gets over HIS overwhelmed state, he might then be able to appreciate you.
But sometimes they never change...and I've started to wonder, if MOMS don't set up their sons to be this way.

The thing is...you KNOW there will be some HO at work ready and willing to tell your H he is the best thing since sliced bread. So you hardly have a choice if you wnat to keep your marrige afloat.

I hope you can find a good support group to build your PMA, while you are giving to your H and not getting much back. But heres something that is more positive: I have found that when men feel loved and appreciated in great measure that they will, of their own accord, start giving back those things we women hold so dear... You can't ask for them in anger or sarcasm or even martyrdom..but you can smile and hug and kiss when he does something teeny and the next time he will do a little more...its like they want to please but you have to be willing to goose them into pleasing you the way you want to be pleased...
oh well, good luck. You've been working so hard. Hang on a little more! gd