S, Now you understand why I keep coming back to your reading the mlc resource threads the archives. You will find a lot of similiar situations in those threads.
Your h's comments and behavior are quite similiar to mlc. I would venture to say he most likely is in crisis. We aren't experts here, but we've been at it long enough to know the lingo and behavior.
If you will just sit quietly, listen and do not interject, your h will tell you quite a bit about what he's thinking and doing. They tell on themselves.
Don't bring issues about the ow....she's nothing and he will protect her to the bitter end of you start attacking. Toss out the mom behavior and treat him as a friend. The ow is doing exactly that....stroking his ego, validating his feelings and being a friend. You are still looking at him as an h and that's got to change for now.
Start reading the threads that I've mention many times...they will open your eyes to what you will be dealing w/in the months to come.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
