Sounds like you want to go. Do it and leave the door open for your H to go if he wants. But if he wants to go, let him make his own arrangements. I think you would prove to yourself and your family that you can go on without your H (a good DB goal) and also give him some space to think of what his life would be without you in the picture. He may find out things about himself that surprise him....
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
