Now, that's what getting a life looks like. Fun and mysterious. Hope your daughter is better!
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
H is being a little weird I think. He came over yesterday without calling, I knew he was coming "in the afternoon" but he never said when. Showed up at 1:30, I was starting to clean out the garage. Then he was going to take Nathan to the movies. I asked him what time he was meeting Tom to go out, to see if I needed to pick Nathan up at the movies instead of Dan coming back here (Tom lives up in Omaha area so coming back here from the theater would be an hour round-trip for Dan for no reason).
Dan said plans changed, boss invited him (and Tom) and some friends over for dinner and card playing....actually I was glad he wasn't going out to a bar even though it isn't my business.
Dan came back from the movie with Nathan at 5:45 then proceeded to help me finish cleaning the garage (I didn't ask him to, he just started doing it). He didn't leave until my car was safely pulled into the garage--first time we have been able to fit a car in the garage since we bought the house in July!
Anyway he said he would meet us at church this morning. He was acting kind of weird at church, kept sighing and breathing funny and rubbing his knee (he has a bad knee). I asked him if it was hurting and he nodded yeah, a lot. Anyway pastor's sermon was about Jesus and how serving Jesus means doing what He wants for our lives not just focusing on what makes us happy in the moment...interesting.
So anyway when we left church Dan helped Nathan get in the car and then as he was walking away I said he looked like he was in pain. He said, "I am having a very hard time today." I said "Your knee? Or you drank too much last night?" trying to tease him. He looked kind of serious and so I said "Physical or mental?" He said, "Mentally I am struggling". I asked if there was anything I could do and he said No, so I said we'd see him at karate tonight and the kids and I drove away while he walked back to his truck.
Don't know what is wrong with him but I wish he'd find a way to get some peace within himself.
As discussed,let him fight his own demons. Our minds are sometimes our worst enemies. I know its hard to watch him "suffer" since you love him but keep in mind that you are helping him by staying "away". Love K
I hope your D feels better soon Sorry about interrupting earlier, the internet was acting up
I haven't contacted him at all today except for seeing him at church. It was strange, this is the first time we have not gone to church in the same car from the same house. He just showed up at the church and walked in with us, sat with us, then went back to his truck as we left....
Anyway his struggle is HIS struggle. If he wants anything from me, he knows where to find me.
And yes, K, the internet was cutting me off everytime I wrote to you. So I gave up, too...
So I got two texts from H literally THREE minutes before karate, I was in the car when I got them and he was going to be there at karate, too...
The texts were--
1)Just so you know I am praying and hoping that the work I am doing on this house will turn out to be work we will both get to enjoy the benefits of.
2)I don't know how to do this with out you and am praying for guidance on how to make me and you better and thus our family better. I hope I don't run out of time
We went to supper after karate and then came home to watch the end of the Super Bowl. After kids were in bed we talked very briefly. he said he didn't know how it would work, he hadn't gotten that far into it yet.
He said that this was new, this was different from the back/forth feelings he has had for months now. That this was a new realization he just made today, that he didn't want to do this (life) without me.
I just told him that having two houses and visitation and two bank accounts and all of that had me thinking we were over forever and I was starting to put a wall up the past few weeks. He said he understood why I would and that he had noticed that I was changing...
Anyway I said if he felt differently I hadn't seen/heard it, he said well that is why I texted what I did b/c I wanted you to know that I do want you...
I told him I knew what he meant about running out of time b/c the longer this goes on, the harder it is for me to just be patient and wait, that I am starting to build up that wall to protect myself and not get any hopes up or anything. That I need to be able to live and make plans for my life and not just be 'on hold'. He said he understood all that.
All in all it was short but enlightening. I am sure I spoke too much and will remember that if a talk like this happens again anytime soon. When he said he didn't have a plan in place for how to make us better, I said that I would leave that up to him to show me if he was interested in making that happen. He agreed...
The one thing sticking with me is him saying that this was a new feeling for him, deciding he does want to be with me. He has been saying that for a long time but with the caveat "but I don't know how". Now he is saying he is looking for a way to make it happen.....
And I am sure this is shallow AND premature, but I LIKE this house! He would have to do a lot to the one he bought for me to want to move there in the future...........
I do hope he is coming out of his fog of confusion and he will make it clear to you that he highly desires the marriage with you and will do all it takes to help make it work.
The one thing to keep in mind is that as you pull more and more away from him, and appear that you are moving on just fine, it will cause him to want you more. I am betting he saw the Victoria Secret undies and that got him thinking too.
I remember you mentioning that you liked "The Notebook". I read this news story tonight about a couple married for 62 years that both passed away within hours of each other. It sounded as if he willed himself to die knowing that the love of his live was quickly fading.
Sounds like the rinse and repeat cycle is back on. You go dim, he brightens up. So, keep doing what's working. How's your little girl?
I'd like your take if you have a minute to mosey over to my post.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
When he said he didn't have a plan in place for how to make us better, I said that I would leave that up to him to show me if he was interested in making that happen. He agreed...