Partner left after 9 years - eclipses coming up!

[Trixi]

Let me preface with 'perhaps I see some of me in what you do' so it is not intended to come across as a judgement or condemnation. Just something for you to consider.

I have been following your story for months and seen your moods be VERY affected by whatever you think he may or may not be doing.

I saw your mood go up *dramatically* upon hearing that his R with Helen may be coming to a close. Even though it would seem it is because of sailing and GAL, it coincided with that news. The careful observation and "alinalyzing" of the emails; having input from your Mom, BFF, Cher, etc--the focus seems to not be where it ought to be. And it ought to be squarely on YOU.

It appears to me that you are being pulled back into the low point of the rollercoaster because he hasn't done what you expect- and that is to contact you and actually see you. Your friends are encouraging you to hang on and while I am sure they mean well, it seems to keep you a bit stuck.

If you go back and read your threads, you will notice that when a crumb of hope is tossed your way, your mood goes up dramatically- you attribute it to how you are getting out there and doing things, and maybe you are doing more things because you're feeling more hopeful and want to "show him" all that you are doing...I don't know. It's just a pattern I have noticed--and then he doesn't call, email, whatever and you start to feel bad again.

You have too much to offer to do this to yourself. What if you not only "dropped the oars" in the rowboat of your relationship, but also got out of the boat completely? You don't have to get into another rowboat. You could walk away and bike for awhile. Let you XBF sit in the rowboat by himself; let him row over to the shore and call out to you. If he really misses you as his BMF is saying, you can bike VERY far away and he will still find you when he is ready.

Just my observation in seeing a pattern. ((Ali))