Tango, If your H wants a D to start over why not just set a date to say we are done with the past, and will start a new life and M together? The real question is how does he plan to make the changes needed to make things right? Have him make a plan with you set goals, maybe time lines,envision a different R and how to get there. In a book by DR Phil on MC, he actually recommends this technique on the basis that we all have stuff from the past that gets in the way of trying to work on things. He says to just forgive and move forward like it didn't happen. Don't bring it up again because this is a new R - has no place - just focus on the current issues - both have to be committed to the idea.
I don't know what to say about ML -do you want to? If you it is confusing - talk to him about that - is it the same or has it changed? what would you like to see happen here? Is is bringing you closer together or apart?
